Who Are You? Who Am I? Who Are Any Of Us?

Enjoy the accompanying 5-Day Journaling Series -> Write Away ->

Sometimes life’s signs go from slight to bright. 

In a recent late night journal entry, I asked myself the question, “Who am I?” Then I was scrolling a few days later, it was a video by Indian Hindu sage, Ramana Maharash asked, “Who am I?” A few days later, the message was buried in another video by author, media personality and quantum explorer, Billy Carson, “Who am I?”  (Yes, this brightness was, a little from me and a little from the algorithm, but the message was still salient.) 

So, who am I? 

Carl Jung’s perspective on the unconscious is that there are two parts, the Collective Unconscious, that deep cavern of innate and ancestral patterns, and the Personal Unconscious, our forgotten and repressed individual experiences. 

Tapping in, assessing and muscle testing my Conscience and Personal Unconscious, I’ve had over 42,000 negative, and 50,000 positive moments and milestones throughout my life. 

There are thousands and thousands of little moments and feelings that at the time I thought I’d remember. Little did I know that I would not consciously remember, yet still be impacted by all of them. 

Of course there are the larger milestones and moments that leave indelible memories, and they are all part of the equation and clues as I try and solve my personal mystery.

I look in the mirror, I think, I sense, I feel, I meditate, I analyze, I over-analyze, I get feedback (sometimes unwelcome). 

Everyday, directly or indirectly, I play the game, “Who am I?” 

Everyday, I’m a scared, insecure, embarrassed kid, with glimmers of potential, who became that adult. Mix in some laughs, sports, laziness, hardwork, evolution, regression, learnings, mistakes, pepper in a little ego, and toss it all in the empath-slow-cooker for eternity. That’s who I am. Holding onto it all, ever present, both in the light, and poorly hiding in the dark alley of my unconscious. 

We live in our own courtroom, pleading our cases, looking for a decision.  We are both judge and jury. Will I be locked up? Will I be free? The sentencing is the same. Am I desensitized to the verdict? I am not. I must live with myself.  

Is there a chance to be paroled? 

Riding the Jungian wave, his theory of Individualization, recognizes that you are a unique and whole individual integrating unconscious aspects with conscious personality, in order to develop the self and one’s true potential. 

This enables one to develop the “self” instead of the “ego.” To each their own, but when I focus on “the self” and not “the ego,” it drastically helps guide me to who I want to be. 

For almost 10 years, I have been working hard to not to not focus on my ego (very much a work in progress), become set in my ways, ride off into the sunset, by growing old and rooted as that amalgamation of my existence, destined to hate the question, ”Who am I?” 

10 years later, I am better than I was, but it still presents a mountainous foundation that sometimes can make the game seem fixed. But, this time around I am done playing by the same rules. I am trying something different.   

Historically, I’ve cleared traumas and other patterns, and I will most definitely continue to do so. But I needed to clear the persistent saturation of my 42,000 negative moments. It was a new look at all of my memories. It’s fun to run, drenched in the rain, just not every second of every day. At least it hasn’t been fun for me.  

The clearing was liberating and enlightening to expel the heaviness around all of that negativity. 

They’re not gone, and I’m not floating (yet), and I need to continue to dig into the Collective Unconscious. The past will always be learned moments and memories on my journey. But now, when I walk into the courtroom I’m not afraid of my ‘prior convictions.’ I’m excited and relieved to be set free, again, and again, and not be governed by them. 

No day, moment, interaction, or relationship with anyone, including myself, is ever the same twice. I will continue to seek wisdom and joy, and look to feel a little better each second.  Of course I won’t, but I will work diligently to release and not bask in those inevitable setbacks.  

Who am I? 

Freely, I am me. 

Who are you? 

Let’s find out.