Angst Or Freedom? Your Choice.

In August of 2020, there was some serious ‘ish’ going on in the world. An unheralded sitcom launched on Apple TV, and during a dark time, shed a warm, heartfelt, and bright light with some much-needed comic relief.

For many of us, Ted Lasso has filled up our time in different ways. It is full of big and memorable scenes, lines, plus ample movie and pop-culture references; yes, it is a playground for me.  

Not a massive spoiler alert, but if you don’t want it, skip to below the line.

At the end of season 2, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone leaves a message for Ted, ushering advice from a quote that has been utilized for over 30 years, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

Now, she’s not the first to utter this quote, but it’s recent and direct tie to a circumstance in which Ted’s well-being was in question.  

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How often do you find yourself in a situation where you’re withholding being open or honest?

How often are you upset, and instead of facing the person, you have a theoretical argument with them in your head? It’s okay, you’re not alone.

Recently, I was mad. I mean mad, and more hurt for myself and my daughter. I knew that family members were avoiding talking to me about a trip they were excluding us from going on. It wasn’t a sense of entitlement, but more the manner in which they were going about it.  

They knew I was upset, and they were hoping it would go away. It wouldn’t. Now while over the course of almost a year, there had been conversations about this trip.  it didn’t matter, as my perspective was that they had not properly addressed it.

Now, I could have reached out and said, ‘I am still upset, but I hope you have a safe trip.’ Also, known as the truth.

I chose to wait and see if they said anything. They didn’t.

I had a good sense of how they were going to react, and I conjured up unpleasant scenarios that were now being manifested and internalized. The more I played out those conversations in my head, the more I became that teapot, all steamed up.  

I was frothy. I waited too long to voice my opinion, and ultimately, I was not my best self.

Do you want the bad news first? Good.

The conversations you have in your head impact your well-being. You build up angst, frustration, etcetera, etcetera.  It sits as energy and matter in your body, almost as bad as if you had the conversation. Sadly, you build a lot of the negative energy, and the upside is questionable.  

How is this possible?

The moment of truth is upon you. All the conversations in your head are about to come to fruition and set you free. But inevitably there's a wrinkle.

Do you sometimes change your tune and avoid a conflict? You had the opportunity to alleviate your stress, but you stuffed it to avoid making things awkward or hurting someone's feelings?   Is this because you see a clearer path to resolution, or the error of your ways?

Or you came out ready to go, with your arguments dialed in, only to realize you didn’t remember what happened quite the way you thought, or you found out a piece of information you didn’t have that drastically changed how you felt?

All of the above happen all of the time, and tend to leave you still feeling off or unsatisfied. Plus, all your mind games and thoughts still have a negative impact on you. If it’s all in your head, the emotions only impact you – oh, and everyone around you who can sense your upset. Also, let’s not forget those you pull in so you can rant and receive their inevitable validating perspective. Sound familiar? It’s okay, you’re not alone.  

So, now, the good news.

One option, if you’re upset but feel safe, is to have honest conversations quickly. It might not go that well, but you then have a tangible next step, and you don't negatively dwell on it for an extended amount of time.

Another option is to have that hard conversation with yourself. **Theme Alert** You can only control yourself. Assess your role and what you can do to lessen or alleviate your stress around the situation. Determine and activate what you can do to feel better, and not hold onto the associated energy in your mind or body.

To round out my story, there were helpings of the bad and the good. I chewed up and internalized, and I did not control what I could. It is a pattern of constant evolution. Even though I was not the best version of myself, I was honest. The delivery could have been better, but the message was truthful and received. I give myself the grace to live in the polarity of moments, adjust to the doors I open, and what exists on the other side.

As the saying goes, while you might be pissed off first, the truth will set you free.  

Peace be the journey.

Pete